Wild,
Wild World of Jayne Mansfield, The
Directed by Charles Broun Jr.,
Joel Holt & Arthur Knight.
THE
WILD, WILD WORLD OF JAYNE MANSFIELD (1968)
is the cinematic rarity that Nick Rutigliano, in THE
VILLAGE VOICE, called a "full-bore eruption of grind-house
surrealism....a grotesquely enjoyable turn through the
pulp-cinema wringer."
THE WILD, WILD WORLD OF JAYNE MANSFIELD
is a mondo naughty-mentary as only an intelligent sex-kitten
could, um, pull off --  which is all the more astonishing
when you figure that she narrated the film a year after
she died. More unbelievably, Arthur Knight, the distinguished
film critic who also wrote Hefner's "Sex in the Cinema"
review annually for PLAYBOY in the 60's and 70's and
whose intro cinema text book is still used in film study
classes, was one of the 'directors' of this hodge podge
mess -- bet they don't screen this one too often as
required viewing!
How to describe a movie wherein every ten minutes, the
entire focus shifts from one lurid mondo moment to the
next with no connective tissue save the ample tisse
on display throughout? Perhaps to compare it to a drunken
jaunt down Bourbon Street at four in the morning or
the equivalent experience? THE WILD, WILD WORLD
OF JAYNE MANSFIELD feels like an acid flashback
to a more innocently depraved time, which given its
late 60's psychedelic
opening title number, is another possible hallucinogenic
influence. Whatever, it's a safe guess the creators
were "under the influence," as they spend half the flick's
running times hanging out in clubs and bars that seem
to be literally pushing booze and cigarettes on willing
clientelle.
 SEE!
Jayne attend Cannes, slimming down to
her bikini and posing in a fountain for sweaty-palmed
papparazzi. Then, she stumbles into the 'hot' Brit band
Rocky Roberts and the Airedales in mid-groove session.
They sing their 'hit' song 'Bird is the Word' and Jayne
-- clad in white tee, bikini bottoms &  high
heels -- swings in a truly gravity defying manner.
SEE! Jayne
visit the Eiffel Tower, and brings all of Paris to a
standstill! Then, while atop the world's most famous
structure ("even more well-known than the Empire State
Building! " 'she' breathlessly gushes), she uses the
height to peep in on brothels and lovers in nearby parks.
It's all just an excuse to cut in T & A footage
that has no other reason to exist, but hey, that's why
you wore your raincoat, eh? The back Exit Door is there.
 SEE!
Jayne, feeling a bit bored, take in
some Parisian nightlife. Therein, the entire Miss Bust
Off Contest. Entrants flash their boobs but remain otherwise
'unknown' behind a curtained screen. Who will win? Even
Jayne is held in astonished suspense. Warning: it's
a true 'can't miss' entertainment and the reason you
fell in love with psychotronic movies.
Tabloid-style trash-pop history? Delicious, yet tasteless
travelogue? Lurid recounts of her gruesome death...genuine
affection and
even admiration for her transgendered aquaintences...all
mixed with a healthy dose of genuine beauty and simple
love for life. Don't pass on your chance to see the
quintessential cult film that's dropped as many jaws
as drawers, no matter what your gender.
-- Notes by Cruella DeVille.
What
Critics Say: 
"The
most un-politically correct film that I have ever seen."--
CHAINSAW FODDER
"The truckdriver's answer to Marilyn Monroe." -- Dewey
Webb, THE DALLAS OBSERVER
"Lots of bare-breasted beauties (including Jayne herself)
populate this must-see."-- BRIAN'S DRIVE-IN
THEATER
"Lots of nude and semi-nude women, including the Ladybirds,
an incredible all-topless band." -- Paul Petroskey,
TERRORGUM
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Wizard
of Mars, The
aka Horrors of the Red
Planet. Featuring John Carrdine. Directed by David
Hewitt.
The following review of THE
WIZARD OF MARS (1965) -- aka HORRORS OF THE RED PLANET
and ALIEN MASSACRE -- from Jabootu's Bad Movie Dimension
describes the flick better than anything we could express.
So rather than plagiarize (we're too lazy to invert sentence
structures and use a thesaurus), we thought we'd even more
lazily just run portions of their critique and credit them,
to wit:
"This is pretty much your standard B sci-fi nuclear family.
You've got the brave and dashing hero, the scientist figure
to explain things, the attractive woman who stumbles into
trouble, and the party's joker for ‘comic relief.’
The Joker is also prominently featured in old war flicks.
The advantage of those flicks over this one is that the company
Joker usually gets killed for some cheap pathos. Sadly, this
one survives."
"Carradine offers up the closest thing to a performance, though.
His voice is given a semi-majestic reverb effect, and he speaks
wearily and with a long sad face (well, considering the turkey
he's appearing in,  perhaps he's not acting in
this scene after  all). For some reason, the
filmmakers also projected a starfield on his image. So occasionally,
his face is obscured by painted stars. It looks a lot like
a passing bird pooped on the screen."
"The director, David L. Hewitt, would go on to do a couple
more B flicks, including MONSTERS CRASH THE PAJAMA PARTY and
THE MIGHTY GORGA. Circa 1978 he vanished for about eight years.
During that period he was obviously
kidnapped by aliens and replaced with an super-intelligent
android,  because the work he did when
he got back couldn't possibly be from the same guy. He went
into special effects (!) and did work on WILLOW, EVIL DEAD
II, and apparently did some uncredited work on the FX fest
TERMINATOR 2!"
"Looking at the rubber-hose aliens and the Christmas tree
in space from THE
WIZARD OF MARS, the conclusion that
he'd one day reach such heights is rather difficult to reach
(all right, he did display a little of the ol' WIZARD
OF  MARS
magic with the 'special effects' for SUPERMAN IV). "
What
Critics Say:
"Reflects
a time when we were not as a movie-going public blinded by
Industrial Light and Magic." -- BAD MOVIE REPORT
Like this flick? See also: BAMBOO
SAUCER ;
PLANET OF BLOOD;
TERROR
IN SPACE
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Reviews:
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