Vampire Hookers

Acting dynasties are hard to sustain, and flix like VAMPIRE HOOKERS helped Mr. Carradine achieve and realize his own modest success in this light. And unlike so many of his later efforts, he seems in this outing to have a bit more of the old 'espirit de corps' flowing through him. Maybe it's the shakespeare he gets to quote, or maybe the fact that he's lit with the utmost care and professionalism. Whatever, something made the old Carradine peek out through the vampire's cloak in this modest but genuinely entertaining camp effort.

They "don't make 'em like this anymore," some would say. They'd be right to the extent that unlike 99% of the dreck shot on video and dumped to market, VAMPIRE HOOKERS is amazingly well photographed, produced and cheerfully albeit painfully under-acted for the most part. In other words, watchable as long as you like 70's drive-in fare.

The plot has a couple of wacky U.S. sailors deciding to "score" with Phillipino prostitutes as part of their first deployment overseas. Alas, they're too idiotic to realize they've managed to hook up with the only three vampire hookers in all of Manila, but hey, it is fun watching them be seduced, particularly in the infamous seven minute orgy sequence. Shot from on high (God's p.o.v.?), looking down on a bed filled with one lucky sailor and three horny vampire seductresses, and shot in hazy slow motion, it feels like an out-take from some abandoned Brian DePalma movie, all titillation and very little pay-off. Still, with its Murph and the Magi-Tones soundtacky blaring, it's hard to argue this wasn't one of the highlights of 1979 Phillipino drive-in cinema in retrospect. ;)

On a serious note, director Santiago's father had built the first studio in Manilla years before, which is why for all the lack of budget, this flick has a great look: the equipment was all at hand, the lights were professional, film stocks great, and care was put into the technical aspects (well, save the writing, but that's another... story?).

There is a lot to like about VAMPIRE HOOKERS for all the shortcomings, which include some pretty boring scenes here and there designed to pad it for length. Still, even these scenes offer something of a very unique look at a foreign land, involving as they do cultural interactions between the locals and the curious Navy men and male bonding rituals such as drinking and whoring.

But for our money, the end credits song ("They're the vampire hookers/And blood is not all they suck!") is about as cheerfully annoying as any drive-in song ever made. Yes, we know it's a bold assertation, but look: if you can listen to the end credit tune only three times and then not find yourself singing it later in the day? We'll send you some free Bijou bucks you can use on your very next order. It's that insidious, as is VAMPIRE HOOKERS, which for all its drawbacks, clearly warns you what to expect in the title. No Carradine-ist or vampire flick fan will want to be missing this rarity from their collection. -- Notes by Count Chocula.
 
What Critics Say:

"VAMPIRE HOOKERS, of course, is a classic. You guys know how much VAMPIRE HOOKERS made, compared to what it cost? Remember the poster? 'They tease, they squeeze, they're ready to please.'" -- Joe Bobb Briggs, JOE BOBB'S DRIVE-IN

"The erotic undertones of this vampire chiller are guaranteed to warm the coldest heart." -- VAMPYRES ONLINE

"This movie has all of my favorites in it, vampires and hookers, you can't go wrong with that combination. John Carradine stars as the poetic head of the vampires in this cool film shot in the Phillipines... will make you think twice before flashing your cash at a nice peice of ass on the streets." -- The Cryptkeeper, BURIED.com

"When he's not quoting Shakespeare, Carradine has lines like 'We'd love to have you for dinner' to a visitor (played by David Hasselhoff look-alike Bruce Fairbairn) who is seduced by his three whore vampire babes. Lotsa softcore sex." -- E-SPLATTER

"The girls all have tan-lines even though Suzy (the youngest) claims she has not seen the sun in over a century." -- VAMPIRE MOVIES UK

" A cult classic of course!" -- CULT MOVIES ONLINE

Voyage to the End of the Universe
aka Ikarie XB-1. Starring Frantisek Smolík. Score by Zdenek Liska. Directed by Jindrich Polák.

In many ways, VOYAGE TO THE END OF THE UNIVERSE (1963) is like a Socialist version of 2001. Much more so, in fact, than SOLARIS, the Russian epic that is so often compared to Kubrick’s classic.

It is interesting to speculate upon a possible influence of both the flick itself and the writings of Stanislav Lem (the Polish SF author upon whom works this flick was based) on both Arthur C. Clarke and Kubrick. While surely unintentional, Kubrick’s early name for his later epic was JOURNEY BEYOND THE STARS, which even appeared in trade papers as a working title.

The plot elements that are similar in a superficial but noteworthy way involve a space ship crew encountering an alien life form in the depths of space and having to struggle with the fundamental questions of existence and meaning in the face of the “first encounter” of the third kind, and how it transforms and indeed drives some crew members mad (ala HAL’s similar destiny in 2001). Too, like A SPACE ODYSSEY, VOYAGE TO THE END OF THE UNIVERSE is as much concerned with cultural as well as scientific advances rather than action sequences only (though they’re there, too) and special effects (though the effects work is impressive for the day).

These are truly only modestly interesting parallels, and it is not like VOYAGE TO THE END OF THE UNIVERSE needs to prop upon Kubrick’s picture to succeed nor vice versa. Indeed, VOYAGE won Best SF Feature at the prestigious Trieste SF Awards the same year Chris Marker won there with “La Jetee” for Best SF Short. Rather, it is to indicate how relatively obscure it remains despite its rather daunting pedigree, the latter of which upon viewing decades later is much deserved.

There is a case to be made for this being an influence on STAR TREK as much as Kubrick and Clarke, but again, it may just be because so many of these ideas were so very topical during the Space Race. In those heady days, it was not a matter of if but when mankind would “conquer” the universe; there was never a budget shortfall nor deficient equipment, but rather only a hostile universe that spat endless meteor storms and black holes at you. It’s kind of comforting to know nothing can go wrong with your space ship in space, and that may be the hidden “will fulfillment” fantasy herein: cruising into the depths of the universe is as easy as strapping into a monster-sized space Cadillac with retro fins and turning the retro-ignition key. Whew, it’s enough to make you nostalgic for Tang (“The Drink of the Astronauts”), isn’t it?

From a technical point of view alone, it is easy to appreciate the vast sets and grand sense of scale VOYAGE TO THE END OF THE UNIVERSE brings to the screen. The stark, high contrast look shot in glorious black and white is as good as it gets, and reminds of the moody film noirs of the 40’s more than the usual brightly-lit American SF flix of the era.

The set design is impressively futuristic-looking to this day, and yet definitely a by-product of the era’s hopeless but touching optimism towards space exploration, where tragedy was ever present but somehow – and maybe this is why the film remains so relevant today – that only made the heroes’ quest that much more human and believable. In outer space, after all, we are all just a pressurized spacesuit rip away from sharing an equally grim fate.    -- Notes by Dr. Heywood Floyd.. 

What Critics Say:

“A superior Czechoslovakian science fiction film with excellent special effects.” -- Michael Weldon, PSYCHOTRONIC GUIDE

“Yet another good example from East Europe is the Czechoslovakian 'Ikarie XB1' (loosely based on another Lem story, 'The Magellan Cloud'), which is an intelligent and truly well-made film… featuring equal or even better special effects and sets than… American counterparts.” -- EUROPEAN CINEMA

“Mega-rare Czech science fiction tale. A giant spaceship carrying a colony to a new habitat in deep space faces numerous problems including encounters with alien vehicles.” -- TROPIC TWILIGHT VIDEO

“Czech production has meritorious values… Emphasis is on problems aboard the craft, encounters with an alien ship and its dead crew, and an adventure in a space nebula… director and cast work hard to pull it off.” -- CREATURE FEATURES MOVIE GUIDE